Challenges

Today was full of tough challenges.  Weird business rejection (maybe - still not sure what it was), awkward cocktail party, conversation with my dad trying too hard.  Again I found myself not being able to cope.  So that is night two of failure.  This sucks!!!!!!  I have to regain strength.  I am still learning so much about myself in recovery that is unexpected.  I didn't think that stopping purging would lead me back to these body image issues that seemed so healed from past treatments.  They are still alive and well and just well hidden by managing fear through restricting and purging.  Wow - that is hard to come back to after all of these years.  Tomorrow I just need some down time.  I need to feel okay about not being able to do it all.  And I need some peace.  To a fresh start tomorrow.