I wasn't expecting going through recovery to take this much energy. I kind of thought that since I wasn't purging, I would have the extra time and energy related to that. But as it turns out, dealing with the feelings that lead me to purge takes a ton of energy. There are moments yesterday that I just wanted to give up. Just to accept my eating disorder as permanent and move on.
But I didn't. I know in my heart that this will be worth it in the end. I know that it will not be so difficult or take as much energy in the future. I need to take care of myself and be kind to my body right now and to know that some day I will turn a corner and it will be easier again.
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